Im falling deeper and deeper into a depression that i cannot shake ive been on medication for almost two months now and the bad feelings never really go away. I can pretend im getting better but thats only for everyone else's sake. I feel like im going to break. Like literally shatter. Ive all but shut eveyone out. No sense in fewling like you're having to force "friends" to wanna be in your life. Of course you want them there but not because thwy have to be out of pity of obligation. The one i love more than anything is the one i have to push furthest away. Having someone like me in his life inst healthy or good in any way. I can feel how disgusted he is every time i contact him. I did try to leave him alone but some part of me still wants a friend out of him even tho it's not possible and not fair to him. I dont even know why im here anymore honestly. There's nobody who i make better or help by being here. Literally everyone i make things stressful for. I dont see the purpose of me and i hate having to be here ruining everyone elses life. There's no point of me. Im just here being a burden and a liability. Every day i wish i could just end it. Every fucking day i wish i would just not wake up. I dont want to be here. I hate being here making life hard for everybody else