62215

Imnot sure if it's my psych meds interacting w my pain meds but im not ok. I feel off. Destructive. I dont wanna be here right now but ihave so much i have to do. Been having thoughts of walking into traffic and driving off a bridgefor the past couple days. Idk whats causing it but i dont feel ok like i should. Something is wrong and idk ehat it is.

Captains Log 6/6/2015

Ok so more things I've learned about this medication so far. Idk if it's just me or what but my alcohol tolerance is higher than it used to be .. For example, yesterday i went out w friends. Before i left home i had the equivalent of 4 vodka cranberries. When we got to our destination i also had rum and coke and Hennessy. Came home and had two more vodka cranberries. Thats 7 drinks total and i didn't feel any of them. Like not even a little .. I thought i'd at least be tipsy which made me nervous because i was the DD but i was fine the entire time as if i didn't drink anything at all which is strange because usually by drink 3 i would be ready for a nap but i wasn't tired until i took the mirtazapine and risperidone which make me sleep anyway. Woke up w no hangover even tho i hadn't eaten much and now at 10:45 pm I'm still fine not even a headache .. I still have the moments of extreme energy bursts even when i take the medication and I'm still tired a lot but i haven't had anxiety attacks or bouts of depression since i started to feel better so thats good. I start therapy on Tuesday so that should be interesting.